Use these six strategies to communicate effectively.
1) You can accept anything without agreeing with it. Thus, acknowledge amazing requests and outrageous statements with responses such as:
"That's an interesting idea."
"That's a novel request."
"What an intriguing question."
Use this as an opportunity to understand what the other person is saying. And then move on to other topics without attempting to argue.
2) People judge others by their actions. This means you are being judged by the perceptions you create with your words and actions. For example, if you act angry, even though you feel otherwise, you will be judged as being hostile. If you sound helpless, even though you feel otherwise, you will be judged as being ineffective. Thus, choose actions and words that convey the impression you want to make.
3) People judge themselves by their intentions. Thus, acknowledge that the other person's actions or words are correct and proper (as seen by that other person). Even when someone's behavior appears completely absurd, that person most likely believes it is justified.
4) Everyone deserves courtesy and respect. Diplomacy gains more than hostility. It is always the best way to begin a dialogue. After all, no one has ever had to apologize for being courteous. When you treat others with respect, you set the standard for how you want to be treated.
5) Everyone has valuable ideas. Everyone is an expert in some area. Everyone has unique talents. Effective leaders helps other people excel at expressing their ideas. They ask questions. They show interest. They make the other person a star in their conversation.
6) Realize that you can always learn more about the other person's needs, priorities, and situation. Ask questions. Seek solutions. Think positive. Quick reactions often lead to apologies. Start by being thoughtful and seeking to understand fully.
Achieve Success with Positive Communication
Acing The Interview: The Positive Approach To Tough Questions
As a Career Consultant, I work with clients on all the tools and techniques that are needed to succeed in the job search – including interviewing skills. One thing I have noticed over the years is that candidates often get “trapped” in certain interview questions that are designed to make them say something negative or self-defeating (which generally leads to rejection). Indeed, job-seekers are not even aware of how negative many of their answers sound at interviews! So, I instruct all my clients to “never say anything negative, or anything that could possibly be construed as negative!” Candidates can avoid being disqualified by stating all their answers in positive (or, at least, neutral) terms.
The following are some of the most commonly-asked interview questions, along with suggested approaches for answers. It is important that job candidates practice these responses until they are able to handle all the questions effectively.
Why do you want to work here? How can you help our company? Why should we be interested in you?
Answer is always based on information you’ve researched in advance about the company and their needs.
If you were choosing someone for this job, what kind of person would you select?
Answer is to generally state your own general qualifications, without being too “obvious.” Leave out the details.
If you could have any job which one would you want at this company?
Answer has to do with the most general description of the job – NOT A SPECIFIC TITLE.
What weaknesses do you have for this job?
TRAP QUESTION. Never state anything negative! Answer is to ponder for a while and then state that you can’t think of any weaknesses that would compromise your performance at this job; or negatively impact your performance of the job’s responsibilities.
What do you expect to get in this job that you haven’t gotten in you current/previous job?
TRAP QUESTION. Do not say anything negative. State that your current/previous jobs have met or exceeded your expectations. With the new position you would hope to have broader responsibilities and make greater contributions.
What do you see as your future here?
I would expect to be contributing at higher levels and have increased responsibility over time.
Are you considering other positions at this time?
TRAP QUESTION. Simply say “yes.”
How does this opportunity compare?
From what I’ve heard so far, very favorably … and I would like to learn more.
What other companies/opportunities are you looking at now?
As I’m sure you can appreciate, I’m not at liberty to say as I am still in discussions with these companies. I need to protect their privacy, as I would for your company under similar circumstances.
What are your short and long term goals?
Short range: To secure an appropriate new position where I can apply my skills and experience to increase the company’s productivity and profitability.
Long range: Assume more responsibility and make greater contributions over time for my employer.
What motivates you?
Focus the answer on your core values, and also on the values and priorities of the company you are interviewing with (which you should have identified through your preliminary research).
What have you done to improve yourself during the last year?
Talk about professional development, training programs, educational curricula, study in your field, on-the-job training, skill-building, relevant books you’ve read, etc.
How do you spend your spare time?
Say something inoffensive, apolitical and innocuous. (reading, exercise, travel, home projects, gardening, family activities, home projects, etc.)
Tell me about your health.
My health is excellent.
If you could re-live your last 15 years, what changes would you make?
Nothing is perfect, but overall I would say that I’m quite satisfied with the way my life and career have developed – so I wouldn’t make any significant changes.
Tell me about your greatest achievement/disappointment in your life.
Give one personal example (like meeting your spouse and getting married; putting yourself through college and graduate school; or saving-up to buy your first house, etc.). Then give your best professional accomplishment story. As for the disappointment, give an answer similar to the one above, implying that “overall, I would say that I’m quite satisfied with the way my life and career have been developing, so I really can’t think of any major disappointments.”
What did you like best/least about your last job?
TRAP QUESTION. Never state anything negative! Explain what you liked best. Then say that while every job has its challenges, you have been fortunate enough to learn and grow professionally in each of the positions you have held.
In your last position, how much of the work did you do on your own, and how much as part of a team? Which did you enjoy more?
Talk in terms of your flexibility and adaptability – your ability to work in whatever mode seems appropriate to the situation. Make it clear that you have been equally effective in teams or working independently, as each case demanded. You enjoy both; it’s more about what will work best for the project and the company at that time.
What are some of the more difficult problems you have encountered in your past jobs? How did you solve them?
Tell two or more pre-prepared accomplishment stories. Keep it POSITIVE!
Did you ever make suggestions to senior management? What happened?
Say “yes.” Tell some accomplishment stories and results, in which you positively influenced senior management.
At your previous job(s), what did you think management could have done to make you function more effectively as an employee?
TRAP QUESTION. Never state anything negative! Say that the employer was very good in providing resources and support to your position, and that you have no complaints about this.
What has kept you from progressing faster and farther in your career?
TRAP QUESTION. Never state anything negative! State: “I don’t know what could have given you the impression that I am dissatisfied with the progress and pace of my career. I am quite satisfied with where my career is at this point in my life. However, I am ready to take on greater challenges.”
What else should we know about you?
Tell one or two more of your best accomplishment stories. You can also repeat how well-suited you think you are for the opportunity, and how interested you are in the job.
Tell me about the best/worst boss you’ve ever had.
TRAP QUESTION: Never state anything negative! Say that while every boss has been different, you have worked productively with, and learned something from, each one. (Be prepared to give some examples of what you have learned.)
Everybody likes to criticize. What do people criticize about you?
TRAP QUESTION. Never state anything negative! Say that you can’t think of any criticisms you have received from colleagues on the job. Of course, there have been areas for development – such as when your supervisors would have given you your “employee review,” and they might have made a suggestion for improvement. State that you have always taken these kinds of suggestions seriously and have taken steps to make the improvements that were requested, and that this has made you stronger as a professional. (State at least one example).
Everyone has pet peeves. What are yours?
TRAP QUESTION. Never state anything negative! Turn this question around, by talking about your high professional standards. Your only “pet peeves” are with yourself – pushing yourself hard and not accepting mediocrity, for example – or how you are always striving to reach your full potential on the job, etc.
What is your leadership style?
Talk in terms of your flexibility and adaptability – your ability to lead in whatever mode seems appropriate to the situation. Explain that it’s more about what approach will work best for the project and the company at that time. Give an example or two, demonstrating different leadership styles, using your accomplishment stories.
Are you geographically mobile? (or) Are you willing to put in a lot of extra time?
Ask for clarification – what exactly does the interviewer mean? Then, according to their answer, either say, “that would be no problem at all,” or tell them “you’d like to give it some thought and get back to them within 24 hours.”
You don’t have the experience/background for this position. How could you handle it?
Say you’re confused by their comment, that you’re quite confident that you DO have the experience and background for this position, and that you’re a very strong match for the responsibilities. Ask what specifically concerns them about your background; what’s missing in your experience? (Sometimes the interviewer is just testing you.) Re-state your qualifications as needed, tying your accomplishment stories to the employer’s requirements.
You’re overqualified for this position, aren’t you? (even if you are slightly overqualified)
State: No – I see a lot of challenges in this opportunity, and I’m sure that I would find the work extremely interesting. Give some examples of what you mean, and talk about the new dimensions of experience and skill that you would bring to the position, almost as though you would expand the level of contribution in this job, thus making it more than it is at present.
We have all the information we need. We’ll be in touch.
Take the initiative. Ask such questions as: “Where do I stand? Am I being considered as a strong candidate? When should I expect to hear from you, or would you prefer that I contact you in a day or two? What is your time-frame for making a final decision? Is there anything else I can provide to facilitate the process?” etc. Then re-state your strong interest in the position and your confidence that your background is an ideal match to the job.
In conclusion, I strongly recommend that you prepare for your interviews by studying and practicing these answers. Get someone to help you, by doing a “role play,” in which your friend can be the interviewer and you can play the part of the job candidate. You will reduce your anxiety, boost your confidence and perform much better if you “know your lines” in advance! And remember – never say anything negative in a job interview!
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Permission to Reprint: This article may be reprinted, provided it appears in its entirety with the following attribution: Copyright © 2006, Ford R. Myers and Career Potential, LLC.
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"Enlightenment" Your 7 days program to Positive thinking
I'm sure you have a bright idea hidden somewhere in the back of your mind that you just can't wait to test out. Of course you're not the only one with the bright idea. So what motivates you to churn those creative, or even inspiring juices to its utmost flavor?
It's always best to set up a personal goal where you can accomplish the most in record time, maybe like mowing the lawn in an hour before the big game on TV. A correct and positive attitude in whatever you do will make things easier, and even enjoyable.
Here are some tips to make it through the week even if you're just sitting in your favorite couch. An idea takes time to form in your head and is always at work while you are busy sitting.
Having a bit of positive thinking can help you realize things that are never thought possible. Thinking big is indeed the American Way and that what made our country prosperous.
1. Take passionate action towards living your life by design. Talk is cheap. Action = deposits in the bank of a passionately authentic future. Without it, passion is void.
This is a perfect example where dreams are made of where you start by tinkering with your mind, then with your hands. And if the idea weakens, you can always go back to it later until you finish it.
2. Commit to yourself as well as those you love to create powerfully a life you can love. Instead of reacting, commit to creating from your heart and soul, out of love rather than fear. The American Dream will always be there, but a dream will still be a dream without motion. Be amazed as the transformation begins.
3. Recognize and embrace the thought that each moment is perfect regardless of its outcome. Every time you hit on something that may appear too extreme, why not give it a shot and see if it will work. You will be surprised to see of there are other ways to get the task done in time. If you are not pleased with the outcome, decide to use that moment to learn from and make the appropriate shift.
4. Dwell completely in a place of gratitude. Learn to utilize what you have in your hands and make use of it in the most constructive way. Slipping into neediness will become less of a habit when you repeatedly shift towards gratitude, away from poverty consciousness.
5. Use a Passion Formula of Recognize/Reevaluate/Restore in place of the Shoulda/Woulda/Coulda whirlwind. The former is based in increased knowledge and abundance while the latter focuses on scarcity and lack. As you face people or tasks that may seem harder than scaling the summit of the Himalayas, allow yourself to realize that the task is just as important as giving out orders to your subordinates. You would rather be richly passionate!
6. Keep humor at the forefront of thought, laughing at and with yourself when possible. You may find yourself quite entertaining when you loosen up! I am yet to see a comedian ever go hungry even though his jokes are as 'old as great-grandma'. Life has so much to offer to allow you to mope around in self pity. Humor is very attractive, very passionate: life-giving.
7. Believe that you are the architect of your destiny. No one can take your passionate future from you except for you! Create your life authentically. As long as there's still breath in your body, there is no end to how much you can accomplish in a lifetime. The concept of thinking big is all about enjoying your work, which would lead to celebrate a discovery that is born within your hands. Watch everything flow into place with perfect, passionate precision.
It's interesting how people get wallowed up by something trivial as learning to use a computer, when nowadays that top computer companies are manufacturing software that even the kids can do it. I don't mean to be condescending, but that's the idea of not having any positive thinking in your life-you'll just end up as a dim bulb in a dark corner. So instead of subjecting yourself to what you will be doomed for, make your path by taking the first step with a positive attitude.