Have you ever had someone get right up in your face when they are talking to you? So close in fact that a letter "S' results in an unwanted shower? Often when we are out networking, we find ourselves in a loud environment as people try to talk louder to be heard over people trying to talk louder to be heard. This results in a roar that makes regular conversation difficult.
The temptation in this atmosphere is to get very close to another person so they can hear you and you them. This can result in being too close to another person sometimes making them very uncomfortable. This discomfort is heightened when we have been consuming alcohol and the person we are talking to have not.
Each of us has our own comfort zone boundary. This is a space around us that when another person enters we begin to feel uncomfortable. A good way to relate to this is to remember if you have ever had an argument where someone got right up in your face and possibly even pointed their finger very near to it. Remember how that made you feel? In most cases it makes a person feel more angry.
In a networking environment it is important to maintain a distance from a person that you are talking to. This distance should be almost an arms length. Most peoples comfort boundary is about the length of their arm. If you find yourself getting very close to someone in conversation, imagine if you raised your arm and that is the distance that you should be from the other person. If they move closer to you in the course of conversation, it is acceptable to them to be closer. If it is acceptable to you then continue with the conversation at that distance.
You can sometimes tell if you are standing too close to someone if they seem to be moving back while you are talking to them. If they appear to be getting further away from you, do not move to be closer to them. They will stop when they reach the distance that they are comfortable with. If they turn and walk away of course it is time to find someone else to talk to.
To be most effective in your attempts to build relationships with others, it is most important to keep these things in mind. Remember that it makes no difference what you say to a person if they are not engaged in the conversation. Good observance of boundaries can give you the edge you need to make networking work.
Beware - Borders and Boundaries
Beware The Busy Manager
Only about 10 percent of managers work purposefully to complete important tasks, according to a 10-year study of managerial behavior across a variety of industries. The other 90 percent self-sabotage by busily engaging in non-purposeful activities, procrastinating, detaching from their work and needlessly spinning their wheels.
In a revealing study over a 10-year period, 1993-2003, authors Heike Bruch and Sumantra Ghoshal tracked behaviors of managers in a wide variety of industries (A Bias for Action: How Effective Managers Harness Their Willpower, Achieve Results, and Stop Wasting Time, Harvard Business School Press, 2004).
They found that over 90 percent of managers fail to act purposefully in their everyday work. Bruch's and Ghoshal's study identifies four profiles of managerial behavior, as charted in a grid measuring focus and energy. Managers were charted as being high or low in focus, and they were charted as being high or low in energy.
High focus, high energy managers were described as Purposeful.
High focus, low energy managers were seen as Detached.
Low focus, high energy managers were described as Frenzied.
Low focus, low energy managers were seen as Procrastinators.
The Frenzied: Forty percent of managers are distracted by the overwhelming tasks that face them each day. They are highly energetic, but unfocused. But "the need for speed" prompts them to be unreflective. They could achieve more if they consciously concentrate their efforts on what really matters.
The Procrastinators: Thirty percent of managers procrastinate on doing their organizations' most important work. They lack both energy and focus, spending their time handling minor details in lieu of what could make a real difference to their organizations.
The Detached: Twenty percent of managers are disengaged or detached from their work. They can be focused, but have no energy. They seem aloof, tense and apathetic.
The Purposeful: Only ten percent get the job done. They are highly focused, energetic, and come across as reflective and calm amid chaos.
The costs of unproductive busyness take a toll on both managers and their companies. Continual unreflective activity has a direct effect on an organization's profits and managerial morale, as it's ineffective and ultimately unsatisfying.
For example, frenzied managers often act in extremely shortsighted ways. Under extreme time constraints and the need to do more with fewer resources, they become adept at finding short-term solutions. As a consequence, they seldom take time to reflect, and neglect long-term issues. Frenzied managers demonstrate a well-intentioned, but desperate, need to do something-anything-which makes them potentially destructive.
Chronic procrastinators are generally recovering frenzied managers. Once they have learned that frantic, desperate actions are unsatisfying, many lapse into procrastination, losing energy and focus. It becomes all too easy for them to put off action altogether.
What distinguishes managers who take purposeful action from those who do not?
Willpower, discipline and clarity of purpose fuel the force behind energy and focus, enabling managers to execute action and to ignore distractions. Even when uninspired by the work and tempted by other opportunities, purposeful managers maintain energy and focus through will power, determination and clarity of purpose.
Next time you evaluate your managers' performance, place them on the low/high Focus/Energy grid. Find out who fits the descriptions of Detached, Frenzied, Procrastinator, or Purposeful manager. Then see whether it is focus or energy that can be improved. Busyness for the sake of being busy without regard for results can lead to false assumptions.
Beware Of Job Fraud Scams!
Searching for a job can be difficult enough, but when you finally spot the 'job of a lifetime' – just consider that if the job sounds too good to be true – quite likely, it is!
Imagine the job of "Designer - Developer/Applications/IT" with a tax-free salary of $120K for 6 months work.
Perks including Paid Overtime at $300 per hour, paid first-class accommodation, $3,000.00 flat rate travel/entertainment allowance for every intercontinental trip, free comprehensive healthcare, two weeks of paid vacation, a free laptop computer and free transportation/vehicle.
WOW!!! – Where do I sign up???
This is just one of the many recent postings on Monster.com – other jobs with the same salary and benefits are also available – including:
* Project Manager - Project/Infrastructure/IT
* Analyst - Systems/Support/IT
* Technical Advisor - Computer/Security/IT
* Analyst - Data Manager/IT/
Sometimes the scams are easy to spot – other times it can be more difficult. Quite often the job titles and job descriptions are often stolen from other legitimate employment sites.
You may be able to enter a snippet of the job description in double-quotes and find the original source through your favorite search engine.
For example, the position I mentioned earlier contained the text "(C++, Java, HTML, PHP, Visual Basic)" in the job description.
Search for this in Google (including the double-quotes) and you’ll quickly see how often this exact string has been used in scam-related job postings.
These companies (more likely individuals) have absolutely no intention of hiring you – they are simply after the "Administration Fee" you need to send in advance.
Here is an example of some terms on a recent posting on monster.com:
You are liable to make charges of about USD$950.00 for the procurement of your working and residential permit documents which covers:
1, Administrative charges:
2, Diplomatic Courier Charges:
3, Working Permit charges:
4, Residential Permit charges:
5, Hard copies of the terms:
They promise reimbursement of fees and travel expenses to attend the interview, but only AFTER you’ve shown up for the job and discovered they never existed!
In addition to money sent to the fraudsters in advance -- you could be suckered in for airfare, hotel and thousands of dollars in other expenses.
Some obvious clues that should send up bright red warning flags:
* The job is in Nigeria, or posted on behalf of a Nigerian company. Quite often the jobs are IT-related in companies involved with oil, banking or mining.
* The contact is using @hotmail.com or some other free email service. Legitimate offers generally come from legitimate companies with real email addresses.
* The telephone number is a fake. Don’t even try to call. Most often, if the number even works at all, it leads to a mobile phone in Nigeria or a similar country. Check the country code before calling and see if it matches the company’s address (if they even provide one).
* Beware of requests for detailed personal information, such as a copy of your passport, birth certificate, SSN card and so forth. This trick is used to make the application more ‘real’ but if they can't sucker you on the ‘application fee’ – they may just sell or use your identity instead.
* Quite often, there will be many errors in the references, spelling and/or grammar. Here is another example:
"You are to receive the hard copies of the contract terms and agreement and also your working and residential permit altogether, it will be delivered through Diplomatic Courier Services(DHL) to your various designated addresses respectively."
Do a Google search for "Diplomatic Courier Services(DHL)" and you will again see dozens of listings discussing or exposing the scam.
There are many variations to this new type of scam. Currently, IT professionals seem to be the major target. Monster.com and Monster's country-specific sites have become the hot target for these scamsters.
Although Monster does remove bogus job postings fairly quickly, the process to complain about them is difficult and time-consuming.
In many online job boards, there is no 'filtering' or human review process for job postings -- otherwise such fraudulent listings would be need to be much more difficult. Many job boards also allow free postings for advertisers -- making them even more attractive for scammers.
The important thing to remember is that few legitimate employers will ask for fees of any kind up-front – in fact, many employers will pay for your travel expenses in advance.
Don’t let the job of your dreams become a financial nightmare – be cautious when dealing with any business you can not easily identify or verify. Best of luck on your job search!